Yesterday Yoshimi who is both a beautiful lady and an accomplished seamstress, wrote a post about a negative comment, and its effect on her.  Of course I rushed to support her because she is my friend, and friends are supportive in times we are feeling low.  But it made me think not for the first time about how just a small amount of negativity really brings you disproportionately down, and even in the face of overwhelming positivity and supportiveness even those of us who appear to be quite self-assured and strong can suffer after one mean comment.
When we blog we really put ourselves out there.  We may feel we are documenting a personal journey, but of course even though we may be sitting quietly in our own homes, by ourselves, tapping away on our own keyboards; the “privacy” is an illusion.  Anything on the internet is very very public, and trolls are free to judge us and say whatever they like.
I have received negative comments.  Actually, I count myself to be extremely lucky to be part of the sewing/fashion community, which on the whole is a very supportive group, and I feel I have some real friends out there who I would get along with very well if we met in real life.  But barbed, and sometimes outright rude comments creep in every now and again, and it is a huge downer.
Even one’s real life “friends” might be having a bad day, and say something off that sticks with you… when I posted about my new little red wool skirt on Monday, I had worn it out that morning to a tea and feeling quite proud of myself; and somebody obliquely referred to me as “porky”.   There were some raised eyebrows and horrified giggles within the group because it was not said in jest, and no explanation or apology came forth.  It is ridiculous I know because it was obviously her bad day and not mine and should have stayed that way; but her remark transferred it into my bad day too.  I felt attacked, and very down for the rest of the day.
Why are we so fragile?  I feel I should be mature enough that I am above such petty things as a flippant comment here or there, and I shouldn’t need validation to be happy about myself.  But I just do.  I guess it is basic human nature to need approval.  It makes us feel like we are accepted.  The need to connect and belong is built in as part of our survival mechanism, and approval is part of that acceptance.  Disapproval puts me into panic mode.

I am still defining my own personal style, but I do know a few things about it.  I treat all drab colours as neutrals and love to wear them, but I also like to be occasionally colourful.  I like clothes that have a twist, or something unusual about them.  I like skirts to be either quite short or quite long, but not usually in-between.  I think I am vaguely sporty or outdoors-y.  I am emphatically not vintage or retro, nor am I particularly girly or dressy.  I think today sits in that comfort zone.

Details:
Dress; the “gathered hole” dress from Pattern Magic by Tomoko Nakamichi, charcoal wool mix, details here
Top; Ezibuy
Tights; Metalicus
Scarf; d/lux, from Uggies in Dunsborough
Shoes; Francesco Morichetti, from Zomp shoes

… and me.
We have been busy recently; school holidays and an overseas visitor staying so we have been going sight-seeing.  There is nothing like touring one’s own surroundings and talking about local features to make one truly appreciate all over again where you live.  We have been doing lots of Aussie stuff, including a visit to the Perth Mint where we learnt about the Gold Rush and how many of the world’s biggest nuggets have been discovered here (most of them); lifted a gold brick (far heavier than I imagined) and learnt about the minting process.  Can you guess the melting point of gold?  Go one, take a minute to guess….

We’ve visited Kings Park, the beach and gone paddling on the river.  The last few days we have been down visiting my parents in the country.  We cooked damper and billy tea over an open fire out in the middle of the bush, as well as took plenty of photos of kangaroos.  Each of these things we have done lots of times, but have been extra nice when viewed through the enthusiastic eyes of an overseas visitor.  And today we visited a little traditional sweetshop, then I intuitively headed next door to the junk shop to have a trawl through … I couldn’t resist.  I told our visitor she didn’t have to come with me but she wanted to!  She found a really old kangaroo print dish and a boomerang shaped leather covered shoe brush, also printed with kangaroos and xanthorrhoea (the plant in my picture above).  I found some more glassware and more old mismatched fine bone china to add to my collection, and a manual typewriter for Craig.  Sam found a double-headed adaptor… er, well, one person’s trash etc etc, right?
So everybody scored and everybody’s happy!
Finally; the melting point of gold; 1064C…  How close was your guess??

Details:
Top; Ezibuy (the indispensable one with holes in it, gulp!)
Cardigan; MNG Suit, found secondhand
Jeans; Burda 7863 with modifications, black corduroy, details here
Scarf; dark crimson jersey, details here
(old and cruddy) hiking boots; Scarpa